Lately I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed. I’m at the age where a lot of my friends and classmates are getting engaged and/or having babies. It seems that a lot of young people get engaged after being together for only a short time, and sometimes I feel like I should follow suit. Alex and I just celebrated one year of dating, and sometimes it’s hard not to feel like rushing into things. He is my best friend. We can do anything and nothing together, and no matter what, it’ll still be fun. Sometimes I get a little jealous of all these people committing themselves to their significant other, and I can’t help but want that too. Unfortunately, some of those people rushing into marriage don’t always stay committed to their vows or stay in love with the person they promised forever to.
I’m coming to terms with being happy just dating Alex, even if I would like it to be more. Even if we’re not committed to each other through God, we’re committed to each other in our daily lives. There’s no one I’d rather support in life. Every once in a while, we have difficult day because we have clashing beliefs on some issues, but in the end, we’re here for each other. It’s hard not to rush into the rest of your life with someone, I know, but if they’re worth waiting for, you’ll know.
Just this morning, Alex and I went fishing with his grandpa. It was so much fun, even though I haven’t fished in over ten years. I didn’t even cast a line; I was too busy catching bugs for the two of their lines. The fishing trip this morning made me realize that I’m not officially part of the Willoughby clan, but I feel completely welcomed by them. It also made me realize that engaged or not, Alex and I can still have fun and enjoy the small moments in life. I think that’s really what love is all about: being there in the small moments. Love is being the bug catcher for your fisherman, no matter how difficult or boring it is, whether you like fishing or not; love is also about sacrifice. If I have to sacrifice my want of being engaged, I suppose I’m willing to do that. After all, marriage is between two people, and if he’s not ready to take that leap, I won’t force him to do so.
For now, I’m content just being a bug catcher. Maybe someday I’ll be fishing beside him.